Those in my coaching program have learned in module one the various ways to utilize the Law of Reciprocity.
It’s “I’ll do this for you. Then, you do that for me.”
The law of reciprocity clearly tells us that we are all bound to repay debts of all kinds. It is ingrained in all of us.
Here is an example:
I’m sitting in a restaurant with a customer. Then it happens. The check arrives. My customer and I both dive for it. He is closer and snatches it up.
I say, “No. This is my treat”
He shakes his head. “Won’t hear of it. I’m happy to pick up this tab.”
Then he says, “You can get it next time when we are together.
With a certain degree of resignation I say, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
I’m uneasy about it though. Two weeks later, I have forgotten all about it. But when the same customer asks me to do something extra on a project, something not easily done, I agree without thinking.
I say “YES.”
What just happened here is the Law Of Reciprocity.
Here’s another example:
You are sending out invitations for a party and decide to invite that couple down the street. You do not like them and don’t really want them at your party, but they invited you to their party four months ago, so you feel compelled to invite them to yours.
Reciprocity is at work in this example. When one person does something for another, that other person senses that a debt is owed and compelled to repay.
There are some remarkable examples of how the Law of Reciprocity has been used to dramatically increase the size and number of “Yes” responses in sales situations. Here are two:
Amway distributors give prospects a package of product samples. All they ask is that the prospect try out the products. Having been given the products to sample in such a generous way, the sense of obligation is overwhelming and many homeowners order products on the spot.
Another example is the Hare Krishna’s technique of giving unwary travelers a flower. The Krishna disciple would say that the flower was a gift. Then when the gift was accepted, the disciple would ask for a donation… Once the other person feels indebted to you, you then ask for what you want and let the Rule of Reciprocity go to work for you.
- Be the first to give something. The person who gives first is in control.
- Give something that is obviously and exclusively for the benefit of the recipient.
- People do not respond favorably when they feel they are being manipulated. So, you must not allow your gift giving to degenerate into an obvious play.
Your gift should be exclusively for the recipient’s benefit. Your gift must not be self-serving or conditional in any way.
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